The Internet is abuzz over the 10-year-old model who is posing for French Vogue in very adult interpretations of beauty. I wonder what that line of work must be doing to her sense of self. If she's the epitome of beauty at age ten, how will she live with herself at age 20? She won't have this complexion, muscle tone, and figure once puberty comes. She might be equally beautiful, but she'll never be that again.
I suppose a wise mother would know how to keep it from going to her little one's head (though I question about the wisdom of putting a child in that situation at all) and so I started thinking: someday, my little one is going to be 10, and the world isn't going to spare her these pictures of beauty and sexuality. The influences point at a younger audience every day. She's going to want to dress like the girls in the magazines. However much I try to keep things around her age appropriate, the time is going to come when she wants something she shouldn't have in the name of being sexy or beautiful.
Dear Sweatpea,
You know that I love you and want what's best for you. You know I think a lot about things, and I've learned a lot of things. So it is with every ounce of motherly feeling, experience, and intuition that I say, I don't care what's on that magazine cover. You don't need to dress that way, and you may not.
I know that the picture on that cover is pretty, and that girl looks really sophisticated and grown-up. I know that some of the kids in your class are wearing make-up and trying to attract boys. They all want to be pretty and sexy and grown-up. A lot of people around you are talking about sexy, but that's not who you should be right now. You are ten years old. You may feel very grown up, but you are still a child, and your father and I have worked hard to maintain this wonderful innocence that you have.
Sexy is something that comes with time. As you get bigger, parts of you are going to change. You'll begin to feel like a different person in some ways. You'll feel powerful new feelings and have big new questions. You'll worry about them. I will help you understand them. You will even get excited about them and enjoy them, and that's good, but only in their proper time and place.
At your age, you should be thinking about friends and school and books and slumber parties. You should be begging me for riding lessons or drama classes or permission to go to the pool with your friends. There is a whole wide world to learn about. There are penpals and science camps and unicorn backpacks. You should not be thinking about sexy right now.
You don't have to think about sexy because you're beautiful. You've always been beautiful. Ever since you were born, people have been saying how beautiful you are. And you have a kind, friendly, helpful, curious, contented spirit that makes you a wonderful person to know. These are the gifts you should focus on. The others will come on their own.
And once you start thinking about sexuality, you can never really get it out of your mind. I know this from experience. Sex is a powerful idea, and you have to have other big ideas and hopes and dreams to make sure it doesn't take up more room than it should. You have to know who you are and who God is and what sort of life you want so you can channel all those feelings and questions in the directions that they should go. And those concepts take time to develop and understand.
I know you want to be pretty like the girl on the magazine. I know you want to fit in, and we'll do our best to make sure that you can dress like your friends. But there is a very special part of you that it's my job to protect, so sometimes I am going to say no. No, you may not go that party or that movie. No, you may not buy that shirt or listen to that song, and yes, I am going to read that book before I decide if you may read it. That's my job. I'm your mom, and I want to see you grow up as happy and as healthy as possible. I do what I do because I love you.
Mom
No comments:
Post a Comment