Going a little bonkers

There is a documented emotional process associated with the spouses of military personnel while said military personnel are deployed. It has seven stages, if I remember correctly, and I think I've been going through all of them over this past week. They let Seth come home for the weekend because they were in a home port, and so help me, my physical, mental, emotional, and psychological being has been askew ever since. I've been so restless that I'm surprised that I managed to sit down and type this. Nothing seems to be worth doing, and yet, I have to keep busy. I can't just sit down and read a book or watch a movie. Everything seems to grate my nerves. I'm intolerably lonely, but I can't stand the thought of company. I'm sick of being in the house, but I dread the thought of taking Max for a walk. The poor dog hasn't been on a walk for four days. I really owe him some time out of the yard.

On a positive note, today was absolutely gorgeous. I actually hung the wash out on the line instead of using the dryer. It's clouding over again now and getting chilly, but earlier today was practically summer. I wish I had spent more time out in it.

But Seth will be home soon, and I haven't been entirely idle these past few days. I was called in to substitute both Thursday and Friday. Plus there are an abundance of chores that get put aside when one is working. I'm really rather proud of how much I accomplished today -- laundry, dishes, doggy do, vacuuming, plus all the handwashables, one chocolate cake, and a Sunday school lesson. I still have VBS scheduling, closet sorting, and table clearing available to me. I think they might carry me until bedtime.

Best to you all.

Contemplating -- John 11

I was contemplating John 11 this morning in my devotions. The TODAY said to read verses 17-27, but I decided to take the whole chapter in context.

So many people put Martha below Mary because she was cooking and cleaning rather than sitting at Jesus' feet, but look at her faith here. She has just lost her brother, she is deeply disappointed in her hope that Jesus would save him, but Martha still can look beyond the death of her brother to see Jesus and his authority (even now God will give you all that you ask), the final resurrection (I know that he will rise again in the resurrection at the last day), and Jesus' messiahship (I believe that you are the Christ, the Son of God, who was to come into the world). I believe she knew the moment Jesus claimed to be the resurrection that her grief was not final, even if she hadn't quite comprehended what Jesus was going to do. I mean, who anticipates receiving back their dead? Her faith was a global faith. She knew who Jesus is to the world.

Mary, undeniably Jesus' favorite (I think that's why Martha went to get her without being instructed to do so), simply weeps at his feet. "Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died." She isn't looking for external hope. She is simply looking for comfort. Her faith in the resurrection is not expressed, but I think even as she wept, she believes that Jesus can do anything. Her whole being is wrapped up in his presence. Simply, He is Jesus, and she needed Him.

Jesus weeps when he sees Mary and the Jews weeping. Does he weep for Lazarus, or does he weep for their grief. Verse 33 says that he was "moved in spirit and troubled." Moved in spirit by their grief and pain and troubled by their focus on death and not on the hope of the resurrection that sustained Martha or the faith in him that comforted Mary. See, Jesus already knew that Lazarus was alive. He knew that back in verse 11, and his prayer in verses 42 and 43 indicates that he considers Lazarus' resurrection to be a sure thing. Jesus has already been praying -- "Father, I thank you that you have heard me" (italics mine), and he knew before coming that the Father would give Lazarus back to his family. Perhaps those 2 days of waiting (vs. 6) were spent in prayer to determine how the Father would express himself in this situation. The course of events leads me to believe that Lazarus was already alive when Jesus called to him, and Jesus was simply acting on a fact that he already knew: the Father had brought Lazarus back to life. All they had to do was get him out. On such grounds he rebuked their lack of faith. On this proof that his mind was one with the Father, the Jews who were present put their faith in him.

I wonder when God began the rejuvenation process in Lazarus, so that he could come out when Jesus called. Did Lazarus wake up dazed and confused and wondering why everything was so dark and then hear Jesus' voice calling him toward the light that was the mouth of the tomb? Or did the sound of the moving stone wake him up? What if they hadn't moved the stone?! (not entirely a serious question.)

So what did I learn from this:
1. I learned to appreciate the union between God the Father and God the Son through God the Holy Spirit. It's completely seamless. It's perfect. The passage demonstrates at once the limitations put on Jesus by his humanity and the incredible power that he wielded by simply asking the Father and knowing the Father's will.
2. The dead have indeed been rejuvenated by God's power. This sign in John 11 was a sign to point to Jesus as God the Son and the Christ. There is some question about whether or not resurrections happen today, but the fact of the matter is that God has power over death. A dead man got up off his shelf and stumbled out of the tomb with his grave clothes still hanging around his wrists and ankles.
3. That when God works his will, it is a fact to be counted on.

Hurry, hurry, hurry.

For my latest busy-ness, I decided to repaint the kitchen. Actually, I didn't decide to repaint the kitchen. I was working on our mural, and the kitchen got repainted as a result. And no, I didn't not spill paint all over the walls and floor. I just got a little carried away, that's all.

See, Seth and I have started a mural project for our house. We decided that as a joint activity, we are going to paint murals in each of our rooms, barring the master bedroom which is already pretty much painted as much as it can be. Seth wanted to start practicing in the laundry room, but I have always wanted birch trees in my kitchen, and as the kitchen is a much more accessible place and the laundry room is filthy, the kitchen won out. Here is what we are hoping to achieve in the end.

We primed the kitchen before he left, and then it became my job to complete as much as was convenient before he got back. Nancy, my pastor's wife, suggested that I paint in the sky before I start drawing in my trees, and I thought that would be a good idea. So I went down to the hardware store, found a blue that I think exactly matches the autumn sky around here (it may need some darker patches, but I can add those later on.), brought it home and began painting. I got halfway across the ceiling before I realized that 1) I was painting more than I had intended to, and 2) I was going to run out of paint.

The third thing I realized was that if the ceiling and half of two walls suddenly had a new coat of bright blue paint, the remainging smudged pink and white walls were going to look a little sloppy. That presented a delimma. Should I just leave those walls, or should I take advantage of the opportunity and repaint them? Well, well begun is half done, and we have paint left over from when we moved in, so I decided to make a project of it and repaint the whole kitchen.

Then I got an update from Seth. His boat had decided to let him come home for the weekend. A working weekend means that sailors are close enough to home that they can be bussed in every night to spend some time with their families. So Seth was coming home. He had hinted that he was hoping for a surprise. And my kitchen was in complete disarray. I had walls to prime, two colors to pick, two coats to put on, and drying schedules to arrange.

Painting three different colors on adjacent surfaces in one room is not easy, and I am not an overly practical person. It took me quite a while to figure out how I was going to tape and paint each surface. I did three different surfaces on the Friday that he came home: the first and second coats of the light green and the second coat of the ceiling. The dark green had been finished the night before, along with the first coat of blue.

Then I had just enough time to clean up the painting materials, clean up myself, and run to get Seth. I probably shouldn't have been driving. I was still a little woozy from all the paint fumes. But now, my kitchen is all painted, apart from the mural on the window wall, it looks much better, and I can say I did something from decision to clean up all by myself. Seth agrees that the current kitchen colors suit us much better than the old ones did. Of course, this picture doesn't show the mound of dishes that is piled up near my sink. I haven't done dishes since I started this project.

In other news, I have completed my interview with the Bremerton School District. My teaching permit has come in from the Office of the Superintend of Public Instruction. I am now a certified and practicing substitute teacher in Washington State. They say a substitute can work almost full time. I wonder what it's going to be like being employed several days out of the week. I should get all my chores done today just in case.

Seth sends greetings and looks forward to being home for a longer period of time. We are thinking about summer plans, but no plans have been made yet.

God bless you all in your various pursuits.

Introduction.

I never thought this day would come. I've been thinking about blogging for a long time. Nearly everyone I know has some sort of Internet site, and they've all been encouraging me to get one. Well, now it's done. I have a blog. MySpace and Facebook users will pardon me. I may be inducted into those hallowed halls sooner or later, but for the moment, you will have to find me here.

Now, what to write about. What would the people who read this most want to hear about? My hobbies? My state of mind? The state of the weather? Current events? Maybe a little of each. I'm not going to have enough information to fill up a blog if I confine my posts to one topic or area of topics. I will have to cover the whole spread. And if I am occasionally of a philosophical or theological state of mind, my thoughts on those matters will turn up too. I will try to write once a week. That will provide some accountability. Otherwise, who knows how long it might take for me to check my comments.