What shall I call this post?

My head isn't working especially smoothly this evening, but it's been a wonderful day, and it's also been a while since the grandparents got any new Boogaloo pictures. I haven't really had time to take pictures lately, but when I realized that we had gone two whole weeks without a single picture taken, I grabbed the camera and made some time. After all, Daddy is counting on a continuous stream of information about his little girl.



Today was so gorgeous that we actually went outside without coats. Boogaloo, being at an age where it doesn't matter what one wears, also went outside without pants. She was, however, careful to take her sun hat, and when she dropped it and I put it away, she took mine.
She really loves my hat and her Sunday shoes.

Boogaloo is at an age where she's very interested in nature. She's beginning to distinguish between birds and butterflies. She recognizes bees and their distant cousins. And she picks flowers, which she calls "wishes." A little friend got her started on that. They began with dandelions, which, as you know, will grant you a wish if you blow all their seeds off in one try. Soon Boogaloo was pulling the heads off all the dandelions in my yard, and I encouraged her. After all, if they have no heads, they can't reproduce. But now all flowers are becoming wishes. The California poppies by the mailbox are no longer safe, and today she picked part of my bleeding heart. I can see that I'm going to have to reinforce the arbitrary distinction between plant and weed.

And here is a special bit for Daddy who is away from us right now. Love you, Love.

Chin Up, People.

We're happy again. After a deep breath and an excellent sermon at church, I can tell you that things are picking up since my last post. Annika is healing, and I haven't forgotten to do anything absolutely or even marginally essential. Actually, apart from the stress of sudden injuries and the frustration of figuring out how to organize my life without my husband in it, I'm doing pretty well. Fatigued, yes, but no tears. I might just be successfully hiding from his absence in my mind, but I'm more inclined to say that God is supporting me through the prayers of my friends and family, so thank you. Your prayers make a world of difference.

We have had gorgeous weather the last few days. The clouds seem to be coming back in now, so I guess I can expect more rain soon, but we had fun while it lasted. The air was so warm that I mowed the lawn and hung laundry on the line. Boogaloo got to play with the neighbors, and we went to the park today and played on the slide.

She is also learning to ride her "bike" (pictured below). She hasn't quite figured out where to put her feet, but she has the general idea of forward motion. We took it to the park today, and she got so jealous when friend Isi tried to ride it. I can see that we're going to have to arrange more opportunities for her to play with kids her own age so we can get this idea of sharing into her experience.

Today, Pastor Dave preached on the book of James, chapter 1 in light of 2 Corinthians 3: 3-6. The gist of what he said was that the goal of the Christian life is to become a mature Christian so in tune with the will and approval of God that the externals and internals that would tempt us no longer move us. The way we become mature is through perseverance. In other words, we come to a tempting circumstance, we ask God what we should do, we get an answer (because God gives wisdom freely and without reproach), and then we DO what He said. Perserverance lies in sticking to what God said until the tempting circumstance has passed instead of giving in halfway through.

I don't know about you, but that's where I have my difficulty. I can spot the temptation easily enough because I'm very familiar with it, and I'm usually pretty clear on how God wants me to respond to it because he always asks for the same thing. But there's this little glitch in my brain that says, "But these are special circumstances" or "It's just a test, so this isn't really sinning" or "You've been doing this so long that it's really more a part of your personality than an actual sin," and I give up on my good intentions or my personal disciplines before I can really get rolling. No perseverance, no maturity. I end up getting shaped by the world instead of the other way around.

Some of my friends will read this and say, "Really, Jenn, what's your greatest vice? Too much chocolate before you go to bed?" To which I say, small sins can be just as destructive as big ones, and internal sins like attitudes are the quickest road to hell. Does it really matter what the sin is if it keeps me from maturity?

My biggest vice is probably discontentment, which, contrary to what society would have you believe, is a sin on the level of rebellion. The circumstances in front of me are given to me by God who only gives GOOD gifts, so they must be for my benefit. That's not a platitude; that's a fact. I like to imagine myself away from my reality. Sometimes I'm reaching for a way to express truths that can't be fathomed in mundane life, but most of the time, I'm just discontent with myself, with my life, with my sphere of influence. I'm an escapist. How unReformed, how unDordtish, how unworthy of a student of true Christian fantasy is that? :) I could make excuse and say that my life is emotionally stressful, but really, whose isn't? I like to put unreasonable expectations on my circumstances, and by extrapolation God, and then zip off into my own little world when my expectations aren't met. Never mind how sinful. How childish.

Pastor Dave said that the trials that we are to consider pure joy are internal trials. The trial doesn't lie in the fact that we've lost a job or a foot or a husband (temporarily). The trial lies in how we respond to it. Our character is tested and revealed by the attitude and action in our response. We get to see all the little bumps and obstacles that our broken beings have put in the way of progress toward maturity. That's where perserverance comes in. We have to 1) continue to see the situation as God sees it, and 2) continue to do what God wants us to do. I respectfully submit that if you don't know how hard that is, then you haven't really tried or you haven't tackled your biggest vices yet.

I found the sermon bolstering in some of the struggles I've been facing, so I thought I would pass it on. It sort of slapped me in the face and said, "You've been compromising, kiddo. It's time to stop. You're going to need everything you have to be the wife and mother you need to be over these next few months. You can't afford to slip away into murky nether realms." Taming this inner tide isn't going to be easy. But God gives us competence that we wouldn't otherwise have (2 Cor. 3:5), and the safety net of grace when we have neither the wisdom nor the perseverance (1 John 1:9), and the road will eventually be clear in front of me. That's worthy of a big smile. I think I'll post one.

Love to you all. Good night.

well, he's gone. again.

Yup, we have started another deployment. With the Lord's provision, this is the second-to-last time that I will have to drive my husband to the base and kiss him goodbye with tears in my eyes. This one's going to be a little longer than usual, but we're almost done. Nothing short of WWIII could convince my husband to stay in the Navy past his due, and I'm starting to agree with him.

For one thing, raising a toddler by oneself is not fun. Boogaloo didn't even wait a day to prove the old Navy maxim "It always happens when the guys are away." She fell off my lap and sprained her shoulder this evening. Now she's resting under the influence of Tylenol, and I'm winding down before I go to bed, anticipating being up at least twice to redrug her. And no one to relieve me tomorrow when I get tired.

And for another thing, I think Boogaloo is beginning to register his absences. She's been out of sorts all day, even before she fell. I let the dog out at naptime, and she thought the squeaky door was daddy coming home. She wanted daddy when mommy was mean enough to make her lie still for x-rays. Daddy could make the owie go away. But daddy's gone. That means she had to snuggle with me, and I don't get anyone to snuggle with.

The morning show I was listening to this morning asked people to describe the last time they had cried. I thought that was fitting then, and I think it more so now. I'd feel a lot better if I could just muster the tears.

Good night.

The Lord has helped my unbelief!

This is so cool. About three days ago, I got an email request to pray for the young lady mentioned below. I was in one of those "I will believe that God answers prayer even though I don't feel like I believe it" modes, so I prayed every time I looked at my email inbox and saw her name. And God Answered. Check it out.

----- Original Message -----
From: Tom Pinkham
Sent: Saturday, April 03, 2010 6:23 AM
Subject: Miracle!
Dear Friends,

I have a wonderful story to tell you. On Saturday March 20, Lauren, who is about 20 and a friend of Missy our granddaughter, was skateboarding way too fast without a helmet. She crashed and suffered some internal organ damage, but mostly damaged her brain. She lives on the Peninsula so was airlifted to downtown Seattle where she underwent 2 brain surgeries to relieve the pressure from bleeding. Shannon, our daughter, stayed with Lauren’s mom that night and most of the next day. Lauren’s dad was on a sub in the Caribbean and just happened to call that evening. When I heard of this I was just leaving a church service, so I grabbed a couple pastors and we prayed. Then I called my healing room buddies to pray also. Lynda is of course calling every one she knows to pray too.

The brain surgeries where successful in removing the pressure, but she was on life support for a couple of days. Then she opened her eyes and was making some sign of contact but only with people she knew. Then, about Tuesday, the progress stopped. The MRI showed that she had brain sheer. That means your brain got shaken VERY hard and in her situation, the center of the brain was severely damaged, synapses broken everywhere. This is the section of the brain that controls all your vital functions. This much damage usually results in the brain actually dying. The Doctors said that if she did not show signs of recovery by Friday the 25th, yesterday, they were going to ship her to a nursing home. No point in even trying rehab! So needless to say we were all praying for a miracle, that the synapses would reconnect. Well this is the text that I got from Shannon last evening.

“Major breakthrough with Lauren!!! She was given a 25% chance of coming out of a vegetative state yesterday, they told her family that she was not a rehab candidate and to make plans for nursing home care. They said that if she does not make intentional movements by today (Friday), off to the nursing home.

Next Text: “Today she has: hugged her father, high-fived an RN and her Dad, grabbed her Dads guitar out of his hands and strummed it with cueing and assistance!!! She grabbed a flower out of her Moms hand, and she pulled off her glove (wears to protect her) and pulled her legs up to sit cross legged, scooted herself up in her bed!!!

Miracle…absolute miracle!!! Keep praying!!! It works….”


HAVE A GLORIOUS EASTER!

Tom Pinkham

In preparation for our separation

Man, it's been a busy week. Not only did I manage to post yesterday, but we've also been running around getting ready for Good Friday and Easter at church and Seth's next deployment (dates to remain secret until after the fact). Our friend Michele is moving to a house with a fenced yard and a better landlord. And of course we have a two year old who continues to grow and require adjustments. We're recovering from colds, starting spring sprucing and a little bit of gardening, and doing massive home improvements. This is Boogaloo trying to fasten her own shoe while I pull weeds in our kitchen garden.
This is me having fun with my scant knowledge of the principles of photography.

By far our biggest news is that we have new siding on our house. Our house is no longer mint-chocolate chip. It is now Harbor Blue with Cape Cod Gray trim. We still have a few ends to patch up, like the porch cover, the shed, and the gutters, but I can do most of that on my own. All the browns will be covered over eventually, the cement patched back up, and the pictures rehung on the walls. We also got new lamps for the two porches which Seth is installing as I type. We are thrilled with the result. It cost a bit more than we were expecting, but at the same time, it cost a whole lot less than it could have. And it adds a bit more color to an otherwise white and gray neighborhood.

In smaller terms, Boogaloo moved from her crib to her big girl bed today. We ordered the bed weeks ago, and it finally arrived today. I was expecting a little trepidation, but she was excited from the moment we started pulling pieces out of the box. She's taking a nap on her new bed right now. She loves the sheets. She loves the drawers. She especially loves the fact that she can slide right out of it. However, we are going to have to get her a little step-stool because she can't climb back in.

Also in preparation for his leaving, Seth and I kinda went out on a limb and got tattooes. Nothing extravagant. They don't even match. I got a small bird on my back right between my hips, and Seth got a cursive J (for me :) )with a mermaid curled around it on his left shoulder. I designed it myself. At the moment, blogger won't let me upload the pictures. ("Internet Explorer cannot display this website."), and Seth won't let me post his anyway, but I will put mine up as soon as the Internet cooperates.

There it is. Isn't it pretty? I just love the color. I can't wait until I can take the bandage off for good. It keeps catching the waistband of my jeans, and it's driving me crazy. I chose the bird firstly because it was beautiful. Then there are connections with the Holy Spirit and birds flying home to nest (would that it were so). A bird can carry my heart to him and his heart to me when the long lengths of sea lay between us.

I've always worried that I would regret getting a tattoo, especially one that didn't have mega-mundo meaning, but it's not like I thought it was. This is private enough. Seth is the only one who's is going to see it on a regular basis. It has enough symbolism that I can appreciate it for a long time, it's tame enough that I won't be embarrassed by it in front of my kids in twenty years, and it's not something I'm going to regret later. In short, I kinda like it.