Too good to leave in my inbox.

I have sworn never to forward the idle forwards again (though I will post a link on Facebook if you send it to me), but this one was too good to keep to myself.

RECALL NOTICE:

The Maker of all human beings (GOD) is recalling all units manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to a serious defect in the primary and central component of the heart.
This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype units code named Adam and Eve, resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units.
This defect has been technically termed "Sub-sequential Internal Non-Morality, "or more commonly known as S.I.N., as it is primarily expressed.

Some of the symptoms include:
1. Loss of direction
2. Foul vocal emissions
3. Amnesia of origin
4. Lack of peace and joy
5. Selfish or violent behavior
6. Depression or confusion in the mental component
7. Fearfulness
8. Idolatry
9. Rebellion
The Manufacturer, who is neither liable nor at fault for this defect, is providing factory-authorized repair and service free of charge to correct this defect.
The Repair Technician, JESUS, has most generously offered to bear the entire burden of the staggering cost of these repairs. There is no additional fee required.
The number to call for repair in all areas is: P-R-A-Y-E-R.
Once connected, please upload your burden of SIN through
the REPENTANCE procedure. Next, download ATONEMENT from the Repair Technician, Jesus, into the heart component.

No matter how big or small the SIN defect is, Jesus will replace it with:
1. Love
2. Joy
3. Peace
4. Patience
5. Kindness
6. Goodness
7. Faithfulness
8. Gentleness
9. Self control

Please see the operating manual, the B.I.B.L.E. (Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth) for further details on the use of these fixes.
WARNING: Continuing to operate the human being unit without correction voids any manufacturer warranties, exposing the unit to dangers and problems too numerous to list and will result in the human unit being permanently impounded. For free emergency service, call on Jesus.

DANGER: The human being units not responding to this call action will have to be scrapped in the furnace. The SIN defect will not be permitted to enter Heaven so as to prevent contamination of that facility. Thank you for your attention!

- GOD

P.S. Please assist where possible by notifying others of this important recall notice, and you may contact the Father any time by 'Knee mail'!

Because He Lives!

There has been an ongoing discussion at the Atsma dinner table for the last couple of days. Lent is almost over. What are we going to do? Our period of self-enforced vegetarianism is almost done. What have we learned, and where are we going to go with it?

We could go back to the same sort of diet that we were eating, but we kind of like what we've discovered. Vegetarian food can be fun. It's often cheaper than eating meat, and it expands our menu options. I can now make ratatouille and hummus and eggplant parmesan, and I'm going to try falafel next week. Plus it's been good for us. We've lost weight and body fat, and we have learned something about self-control. There were moments when it would have been a lot easier to just thaw out a chicken thigh, but with less than two weeks to go, we have been consistently vegetarian all season.

Conceivably, we could stay vegetarian, but, as Seth points out, grilling season is coming shortly, and he needs his meat. Now we have to decide how much meat we are going to put back in our diet. It would be really easy to fall back into our old habit of having meat four or five nights a week. With only three people, we can make one pot roast last half a month if we try. So what lines do we draw to protect our new found food experience, and how strictly do we draw them?

It's been brought home to me this Lenten season that I don't really know much about pure fasting, but as regards abstention or partial fasting, this is something I've encountered every time. After abstaining from something successfully, there comes a point when you have to prepare to let that thing back into your life. Most often we abstain from something that we feel we should cut back on, something that's a little unhealthy anyway like coffee orchocolate, YouTube or romance novels. So when Lent is over, and we've got all this spare time because we haven't been on YouTube for 40 days, we have to decide how much time we're going to give to YouTube now.

There can be a real temptation to dive headlong back into the thing we've given up. A friend of mine told me, "When Lent is over, I'm going to take a bath in chocolate." That sounds luxurious, if very sticky, but if you toss aside all your self-control, what have you gained by giving up the thing in the first place? The struggle of giving something up should leave a mark on your soul. You should have new priorities for your time, for your calories, and for your attention. Your coffee or your chocolate should fall into a whole new and much smaller category in your life. If it doesn't, then there wasn't much point in giving it up at all.

Our Lord once said that the pig goes back to her wallow and the dog to its vomit. (Now there's a couple of mental images that will curb the appetite.) I'm not trying to call our simple pleasures vomit, but I am suggesting that we all take active steps to hold on to the good habits that we've built in Lent. Setting limits is a good idea. Taking up better habits. I'm going to limit my Facebook surfing to two nights a week, whereas it used to be a nightly habit.

***

I'm still working on Scot McKnight's Fasting. Actually, I'm only four chapters into it. I remember the days when I could read an interesting book from cover to cover in a sitting, but alas, now I have a kid, and I cherish my sleep.

McKnight's general premise is that Western society has created a false dichotomy between body and soul, and so when we engage in spiritual activity, we often leave the body out of it. He says that this has led to an ignorance of fasting or a tendency to use it to get something from God when instead it should be a "natural, inevitable response to a sacred moment." In Biblical times, people fasted in response to something, not in order to receive something. God grants you what you ask for because you ask, not because you fast. It's a fine distinction, but it can mean the difference between spiritual and physical unity or spiritual manipulation and potential disappointment.

For example, the common understanding of fasting would say you fast to overcome a sin in your life. Scot McKnight would say the sin causes grief, disappointment, and frustration in your life, a yearning to be reunited with God where the sin stands in the way. These feelings drive you to fast and pray. God answers your prayers. The fasting is just part of the praying. So if you have a friend or a child who is rebelling against God, you fast because that makes you sad. If you have a burden for the lost in North Korea, then you fast because of the weight of their souls. If you have an important decision to make, then you fast because of your desire to do what God wants you to do. The pressure of the spirit and the Spirit on the body causes the body to say, "You know, I really don't feel like eating. Food would be a distraction from more important things."

That's as far as I've gotten, and I see his point. When was the last time any of us was tempted to rend our clothes and sit in sackcloth and ashes? I think we do a lot to stifle our physical displays of feeling in Western culture. It's a mark of social sophistication to show little of what you feel. I think there might be other reasons too. The Protestant work ethic, for instance, might share partial blame. We've made it a virtue to work hard and work consistently -- come life or death, the cows still have to be milked -- and it's hard to do a full day's work on an empty stomach. 

The perils of a linguistic breakthrough

A brief break from the topic of fasting.  I've started Scot McKnight's book on fasting, but I've only finished two chapters.  I would love to jump to a conclusion and right a review of the book right now, but that wouldn't be helpful to anybody, so I'm going to abstain and write about my favorite topic: Boogaloo. 

The kid in my current equation is growing up far too quickly.  She turned four two and a half weeks ago, and it's unnerving the way the number four seemed to unlock all kinds of little alcoves inside her tiny brain.   Boogaloo has been trying out new sentence structures,  telling me what she's supposed to do (albeit in two word phrases), and actually following Mommy's directions.  All these changes make me very happy.  I've been worrying a bit about her language development. 

But we have also reentered a phase in which the Boo repeats just about everything we say.  That's not normally a bad thing.  It's awfully cute when I get words like "gallon of milk" repeated back to me in perfect diction, but, well,  I said, "Dagnabbit" (no, seriously, that's my primary cussword) and got it repeated back to me on Tuesday.  That caused a bit of cognitive dissonance.  I don't want her repeated my cusswords, but that's a cussword only I would worry about.  The feeling could best be described as "Oh no, I've taught my kid to curse antiquatedly!"  Really, I'm not sure which way to laugh at that little predicament. 

However, the language drama continued today.  As I was cooking dinner, I heard Boogaloo chirping in the living room.  I wasn't really paying attention, just stirring the spaghetti sauce and thinking about the salad.  Then I heard something that jerked me upright and whirled me around.  It started with an "f" and ended with a "kin," and it's not part of our daily vocabulary.   She was saying it over and over again, followed with something that I didn't catch from where I was standing.

 At this point, I'd already jumped to a conclusion, but I just couldn't imagine where she would have gotten that word!  I did a quick rundown of vocabulary sources outside our home.  Kids at the park?  Nope, she's never out of my sight.  Random person in the grocery store?  I think I would have heard that.  That left the ladies who lead story hour at church.  Uh, no.  Flatly impossible. 

Just when I was about to start banging my head on the stovetop to figure out where this was coming from,  she said the word again, following it up with "Press any key." 

Press any key? 

Oh!

She was saying "Thumbkin" as in "Where is Thumbkin?"  She just doesn't say "Th" yet, and her nose is a little stuffy, so the "mb" didn't come out.  We had been singing along with the computer earlier, and to repeat the song, we had to "press any key."  "Now we know" was part of "I guess now we know where Thumbkin is."  How adorable!  Mommy is an idiot.
I turned back to the spaghetti sauce.   She kept blathering in the background, talking to her animals and repeating lines from her favorite movies.  Then I heard her say a word that had "a" as the first vowel and ended with a "tar" and possibly a "d".  I thought about pursuing that one (I know it hasn't been in any of our preschool songs), but then I decided that she was just saying "faster,"  so I let it go. 

The cool thing about abstaining from something during Lent is that it forces us to explore new possibilities. For instance, the person who gives up meat suddenly has to find restaurants with good vegetarian food. Suddenly that local flavor hamburger joint isn't a prime destination and those steakhouse coupons just aren't as juicy (ha, two puns in one sentence!).

Last night, I lost track of the time before dinner, and it was looking increasingly like it wasn't going to get finished, so Seth suggested that we dip into the tax return and go out someplace new. We found a wonderful little restaurant called Salar's Mediterranean Grill, just off the intersection between Murrary and Cornell. The food was good, the service was friendly, and the atmosphere was charming. The walls are decorated with Greek sculpture and pictures of Persian legends, and there's a fountain on the front porch. The only drawback is the location, which means that the balcony is right by a major roadway and subject to all the noise in summer, but that's a small thing.

They had a full wine list, and all the traditional categories of food: chicken/seafood, beef/lamb, vegetarian. We've noticed that the vegetarian menu is usually the least expensive section, which is good right now. Seth ordered Veggie Shawarma, I had Veggie Moussaka, and I figured out from the menu what BaBa Ghanoush is. I'd been wondering.  We're rapidly becoming attached to the idea of grape leaves as appetizers. They have the flavor of ripe vineyards at sunset. The Boo much appreciated her three cheese pizza on grilled flatbread, but she was more enchanted by the thought of drinking water out of a grown-up glass with a straw. She drank two and a half 16 ounce glasses, much to the amusement of the waiter. Yes, we paid for that one later.  

* * *

I attempted real fasting on Friday, and it wasn't as hard as I thought it would. When I first started abstaining from things over Lent, I would always have powerful urges to go do the thing I was abstaining from, urges that would almost drive me distracted. But on Friday, I didn't have that, at least not right away. I had breakfast, and I had dinner, and in between I had lots of water (very important).  And I found some very encouraging results. 

• I learned that it is possible for the body to ignore food, even if the person is fixing food.  After all, I have a preschooler to feed.  She can't fast with me.  This had me worried beforehand because I'd had problems with temptation like this in the past.  The mind begins to lament,"Poor me.  They can eat and I can't."  But this time, that shut down pretty easily.  So I guess fasting does get easier with practice.  People have told me that, but now I know.
• I had a great hour with the Lord over lunchtime.  We talked; I typed.  He revisited some points He's been trying to bring home to me that I was too busy to take seriously. 
• Going along with that, fasting makes a person slow down and prioritize one's time and energy.  Some people may have a constitution that will allow them to keep going as per usual without food, but I'm not one of them.  I move more slowly when I'm empty.  Sitting quietly at the kitchen table with my computer and a cup of water is not something I normally do, but last Friday, it was a real pleasure.
• Time opened up for the things I needed to get done.  I was getting flustered because my designated prayer time was cutting into the time I had to complete my (somewhat essential) to do list.  But I stuck to the schedule I'd set up for myself, and out of nowhere, God pointed out that there are two hours between one o'clock and three o'clock.  Yes, I know, that was something of a brainfart on my part, but that extra hour was exactly what I needed to get my work done. 
• My time really was better used.  I spent more time with the Boo and thinking about other people and less time in transitional activities that do nothing but distract me.
• Prayer came easier and more constantly.  I was always thinking of someone I could pray for. 
•  Concentration came easier too.  I had much less difficulty keeping my imagination in its box, and that ease lasted several days, at least through church on Sunday morning.

The day wasn't all ease.    I could tell my internal furnace wasn't running on full fuel, which meant I was cold, and I hate being cold.  I could also tell that my blood sugar ran out around three o'clock  because I went from going without something I was accustomed to to really wanting to eat.  From that point until dinner, it seemed like everything crowded in and wanted a share of my time with God.  That was also the second hour I had set aside as prayer time, and I really felt like I couldn't make the same connection that I had earlier.  We bulled through it, and I'm sure I learned something, but after that, my resolution was just shot.  I made dinner early.  I was very glad to be done. 

That was my first twelve hour fast.  It was heartening.  I discovered that feeling close to God is a real high and addictive.  I found myself wanting to repeat the experience on Saturday, but sense outweighed religious zeal.  God is to be found in satisfaction as well as deprivation.  Sunday dinner was more enjoyable than ever. Plus there's really no point in trying out a discipline if I'm not willing to do it in a disciplined manner.  I'm going to try the Wednesday/Friday schedule for a while, dedicated, but not too extreme.  A schedule will keep me from fasting for the wrong reasons or going overboard.  And it really is pleasant to have those moments to look forward to.

For the grandparents.

We took Boogaloo to the swimming pool for the first time on Tuesday.  The weather has been nice enough to pretend that it's spring.  Now, you all know she loves water, but getting into water that was above her head was a bit much for her.  Seth subscribes to a modified sink or swim method of teaching swimming.  He took her out to the middle of the pool and then made her strike out on her own to get to me a few feet away.  It took me a while to catch on to his method, especially since the Boo was very upset.  She tried every argument in her little book of phrases.  "Mommy, get out."  "Mommy, go that way (toward the steps)."  "Mommy, go back to Max."  Go back to Max.  Oh man, there's my own argumentation coming back at me.

Anyway, suffice it to say that though swimming is not her favorite pursuit right now, and her attitude toward the bathtub is considerably less favorable, she did get in the water of her own accord several times, and she did swim just a couple of strokes.    Aren't you all proud of your big four-year-old?