A eulogy.

You'll never guess what I did today.

I was really driven to it. The status quo had just become intolerable. I just couldn't stand it any longer. I could have gotten someone else to do it, but I have always had the feeling that I could do it myself, so I did.

I don't really regret it. The change was a little drastic and more than I was expecting, but I have been feeling that it was necessary for a while now, and while I do miss the old, I think I'll be happy with the new. Oo, now that I've said that, I think I'm going to cry.

Yep, I cut my hair. That's about ten inches setting on the edge of the sink right there. I hadn't meant to take that much off. My hair now rests directly on top of my shoulders, and I was hoping to leave a couple more inches. I forgot that hair gets shorter as it dries. I also forgot that cutting usually means trimming afterwards. But I'm not that disappointed with the result, even if I can't get a good picture of it.

My first thought was that now I just look like any other pregnant woman. I think I look a lot younger with shorter hair and a lot less distinctive. I also don't want to throw my clippings away. I keep thinking, "What's Seth going to think?" And I can't figure out if I like it. I was really fond of my hair. It was long and soft and almost chestnut. I could do the most wonderful braids and twists with it. Oh, why did I make it so short?

On the other hand, my head is much lighter now. I don't have to do as much with it. And I don't look in the mirror and think, "Too much hair. It makes me look tired." Instead I think, "Grow another inch or two, quickly." Oh well. When it does grow that inch or two, I think I'll be happier. And it's really not so bad.

Ultrasound results.

Inconclusive. Baby was in a perfect jackknife position, thereby obscuring any pertinent information regarding gender. We know baby is healthy. We know baby has long legs. "His" feet were all the way past "his" head. But that's all we know for now.

He moved! (I am such a goose.)

Blessed be the Lord, and happy all heavens! I can stop worrying now. My baby moved!

You laugh. Well, I suppose I was being a bit irrational, but I really was worried. Seth says that I'm not happy unless I have something to worry about, and I'm beginning to see his point. See, all my pregnancy manuals said that I could expect to feel the baby move between weeks 16 and 20, and here it is, week 21, and I had felt nothing! Oh there were little squiggly feelings, but nothing that couldn't be attributed to normal symptoms of pregnancy. Of course I was beginning to worry.

So yesterday, while I was dressing, I happened to look down at my belly, and right as I looked, lo and behold, a little section of my lower abdomen poked out for just a second and then poked back in. There's no way that's gas! I tried to show Seth, but baby wasn't interested in performing for Daddy just then. Of course, I was all excited, and Seth got another laugh at my expense. He says that if I survive the first year of motherhood, I'm going to make a great mom, meaning that I'll probably give myself a heart attack before baby's first birthday. I know that I'm being completely irrational, but I've was never that rational to begin with. This is a baby we're talking about here! Everything about them is cause for worry and celebration. It's a survival mechanism! God planned it that way!

Speaking of irrational baby excitement, do I look pregnant yet? I know it's not the greatest picture (I haven't figured out the automated part of our camera yet), but it's clear enough to say one way or the other. The ladies at church were all saying how glad they are that I'm showing at last. Then they all had to tell me how big they got before the end. I've got a ways to go.

And finally, two pictures of fall.

I live in such a beautiful place that even I can take pretty pictures.

Back in the business world.

It feels good to be doing something again. Last Friday, I was feeling well enough to sub all day, and today I'm going to try a half day with 5th graders. I know it's not much in the way of income, but it is much in the way of activity, and it feels good to know that I'm not being a complete drag.

My twenty week check up is tomorrow, and the big ultrasound is Thursday. I will post ultrasound results sometime next week. Now I have to go make my lunch.

Love you all.
Jennifer

Update on mural.

It's been almost a week since I worked on my mural. I was hoping to work on it some more before I posted pictures, but I suddenly realized how woefully ignorant I am of many things pregnancy and have decided to spend the next couple of days reading about the decisions I'm going to have to make before Seth leaves again.

So here are the pictures from my latest effort. The camera was on night setting, and I didn't know it, so pardon the blurriness. We added in the green background. Seth and I painted this part together, and he thought that background meant it should cover the whole wall. I was thinking more that green should be where leaves go. We'll see who was right when more of it gets filled in. The next step here is to extend the arms of the white tree ("one white tree." sorry. I couldn't help myself. Anyway, there will be more before I'm done. ) and paint in its gold leaves.

Here is a view from the corner, and I'd like some opinions on it. Seth says we don't need any more trees in that corner. He likes the way the mural fades away into nothing. I think that blue expanse needs at least a small bush, maybe a sumac or something red. Of course, there will probably be a table in front of it, but tables can be moved. I'd like to know that something is there.

After we resolve what will go in the other corner, this corner will get its own tree treatment. Part of the background is already in place, but I don't want to put a lot of green in until I know how the branches are going to fall.

So that's progress. It makes my kitchen feel smaller to have all this activity on the walls. I think so, at least. Seth doesn't notice it.